The Real Reason Why Most People Can’t Lose Weight and Keep it Off

Weight loss statistics are shocking…

Studies have shown that 95% of people will gain back all the weight they lost or more within 1-5 years (1,2).

Out of all the failed weight loss attempts, one to two thirds of those will regain more weight than they started with.

And the number one predictor if someone will regain more weight than they lost is actually the number of failed weight loss attempts. That means every time you fail a diet, the chance of failing again in the future increases.

So why is it that losing weight and keeping it off is so difficult?

Most people believe it has something to do with their slow metabolism, their lack of willpower, or perhaps they blame the diet because it wasn’t sustainable. While all those things might be partly responsible, the real reason is something rooted a lot deeper than that.

The real reason has everything to do with your IDENTITY…

If you identify as being a dieter, all your thoughts, feelings, habits, and behaviours will be congruent with that.  And the need to stay congruent with our identify is the strongest driver of human behaviour.

Let that sink in for a moment…

You see, those that identify as lean individuals don’t ever need to go on a diet! For them, healthy eating and regular exercise is way of life, just like brushing their teeth. That is why they are not attracted to crash diets or these quick fix approaches, the same way wealthy individuals are not attracted to get rich quick schemes.

Now, while you might understand and be able to intellectualize this, doing something about it is a lot more difficult.  In fact, changing your identity is just about one of the hardest things you can do, but it’s not impossible.

There are two main tools that you can utilize.

1) Setting a True Goal

Lots of people talk about goal setting, very few people do it in a way that is actually effective. When most people set goals, they come from a place of right now is not good enough, and they need to fix it. A prime example of this is when you think to yourself “I am overweight, and I need to go on a diet”. 

That though process of not being good enough now and needing to fix yourself is exactly what keeps you stuck in that old identify, the identity of not being good enough and needing to fix yourself. 

If a goal has a conditioned attached to it, such as needing to fix yourself, or needing to lose weight in order to feel a certain way, then it is not a true goal. 

A true goal is when you want something simply because you would love to have it. So, your pursuit becomes about creating that which you desire and letting go of the old identity and the need to fix yourself.

It is about focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want. There is a big difference. If you focus on what you don’t want, and you bring the old identity with you, you will always be jumping from one diet to another and you will continue sabotaging yourself in order to keep the old identity alive.   

The real art of goal setting is about being appreciative of where you are right now, while at the same time desiring more. 

It is important to recognize where you are right now, so you can be objective about where you need to go, without being emotionally attachment to it. That way the pull towards your desired goal will be stronger that the pull towards your old identity.   

It is also important to not just set one goal, but set a goal after the goal, because if your mind doesn’t know what is coming next, you will subconsciously sabotage yourself so that you have something to pursue. The mind is always seeking that next goal.

2) Meditation/Visualization

Equally important if not more important than setting a true goal, is getting into the end emotion of achieving your goal before you actually achieve it. In other worlds you have to “Be it, before you see it”.

That doesn’t mean fake it until you make, but that your thoughts, actions, habits, and behaviors need to be congruent with the person you are trying to become.

Since your thoughts lead to your actions, and you can’t think greater than how you feel, it is very important that you condition your brain to experience the end emotion ahead of the event. That way, new emotions will lead to new thoughts, and new thoughts will lead to new actions and behaviors, which will ultimately lead to your desired results.

This phenomena of rewiring the brain is called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is the change in neural pathways and synapses that occurs due to certain factors, like behavior, environment, or neural processes. During such changes, the brain prunes apart old neural connections that are no longer necessary or useful, and forms and strengthens new synaptic connections. 

This is where meditation and visualization come into play. If you have spent years thinking and feeling a certain way, those thoughts and emotions have become a conditioned response. You are going to need to spend some time each day shutting your eyes, disconnecting from your current reality, and visualizing yourself achieving your end goal and experiencing those emotions.

If you do this long enough and often enough you will start to prune apart those old synaptic connections that keep you tied to your old identity and start to form new synaptic connections. You will in essence be conditioning your brain and body into a new state of being, a state of being that is congruent with the person you are trying to become.

You can’t wait to lose the weight to feel a certain way, because when you do, you are going to still feel the same and you are going to sabotage it. The only way to true and lasting change is changing your identity, which starts by changing your state of being.